01.31.12 PRESS RELEASE - MARK TAKES BIG SOCIAL MEDIA LEAP

Snickerdoodle Communications

Marty McFly, 202-111-1111

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

January 31, 2012 (Washington DC)—The Washington, DC community will be receiving the most highest honor the city has received since its discovery by the Native Americans. At approximately 11AM (EST) today, a select group of Washingtonians and others throughout the nation will be given the privilege to access Mark Wohlschlegel II’s Facebook Timeline.

“Today, I am joining the masses, by my own choice, and switching to Facebook timeline, confusing though it be,” says Wohlschlegel.

Facebook Timeline has been met with resistance from a great number of its millions of users, but Mr. Wohlschlegel is leading the nation in this monumental transformative act of resistance.

“Facebook timeline is a mystery to me,” says Wohlschlegel. “I tend to resist any type of Facebook change. If it works, why fix it?”

Truer words were never spoken.

Wohlschlegel, the national hero and leader we have all been waiting for, is putting his differences aside and taking charge to move society forward as an honorable and overly generous figure children will soon be reading about in school.

“Facebook took away the choice for its users to opt out, so in the interest of taking the figurative Facebook change by the horns, the requirement by Pinterest to have Facebook timeline for access, and the relentless ‘encouragement’ of a close friend—who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty—I have decided to take the plunge.”

Mr. Wohlschlegel’s moral stance and fearless leadership continues to baffle Congressmen in both parties, rattle the cages of world dictators, and startle squirrels crossing the street.

He sums up the foundation of his political platform with this closing remark: “That being said, I love snickerdoodles. I miss my beard. Thank you and God Bless.”